gentlemen and ladies we're going to a show
the gents said let's skip the disco
go back to my place and do the no-no
that's how I came into this world so many years ago

now it's one damn thing after another
and if it ain't one you can bet it's the other
a big fat fly in the butter
oh brother

so don't drink a drink that ain't got bubbles
don't trust boots that ain't seen puddles
or a man that ain't seen trouble
get it with your noggin get it with your knuckles

in my dream we're sitting in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N apostrophe
i show mine to you you show yours to me
long as there's you and I there'll be a we

she said you're my pet rock I name you Slim
boys he's with me don't you mess with him
when the moon is high and the lights are dim
I'll take you to the lake give you a big fat skip

up every morning before the sun rose
pirates' teeth for dominoes
jump rope with a fire hose
'cause it ain't over the rainbow it's under your nose

well don't look now but it's 3:55
we got time for one more dance floor swan dive
this is the penultimate hand jive
now come on baby look alive

if i had three wishes I'd wish for Lamborghini
and every night veal scallopini
a mean body guard named Bikini
and a bottle of three-wish-genies

in the upper deck they say hey batter batter
down on the diamond they say what's the matter?
bird shit on the dugout goes pitter patter
the coach is getting older the players getting fatter

some say sooner and some say later
the earth will split right down the equator
and we'll meet and greet the Great Creator
played by Christian Slater

mirror mirror cut us some slack
whatever we did we take it back
we don't know jack
we're still getting the knack

mile by mile meter by meter
one step ahead of the Purple People Eater
when I'm finally there I'll share a margarita
with all earthly creatures